cultural – Jerry Lout ⚬ Writer ⚬ Speaker ⚬ Mobilizer

Jeremy and Nguyen first connected at English Corner. The E.C. term grew out of a phenomenon long ago in urban China. When locals discovered spots either in a city center or on a school campus where the English language could be heard and practiced without formality. The Winfreys (Ken and Karen) launched English Corner at our local university. They stewarded it year after year, Wednesday nights, seeing droves of students (mostly new and mostly shy on their first visits) flourish in both English skills and cultural relationships.

“Could I introduce you to a collection of popular readings? A lot of people in our culture have grown to enjoy them through the years. A British professor who taught at both Cambridge and Oxford Universities produced the series.

“They are fantasy stories and the writings pull a lot of narratives together in a seven-volume adventure series.”

With this, Jeremy, a gentle soul and committed volunteer, set the stage for conversational practice for Nguyen for months to come. Nguyen, a family man (wife and young son), though inundated with doctoral studies, was keen for staying engaged.

In due time through the course of their readings, the alluring draw of a centerpiece figure in the readings – a fierce but benevolent lion presented in allegory – captured the student’s imagination. Discussions linking meaningful principles featured in the fictional narratives with a range of Biblical truths gave rise to further heart stirrings. Nguyen soon yielded over – heart and soul, body and mind. Embracing a sure faith issuing out of the life and work of Jesus Nguyen crossed the threshold of belief and never looked back.

Shortly his wife followed suit. The glow of salvation beamed bright over their young lives. The Nguyen household were enveloped and nurtured in a community of love comprised of local area Jesus-followers of varied denominational stripes.

These were times of growing, of anchoring the soul secure – ahead of gathering storms.

“Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife. . this man to be your wedded husband?”

What steps lead to that happy/solemn phrase, ‘I take this person to be. . ‘?

Life outside the U.S. stretched my thinking on several fronts. This was one. Musings stirred about cultural traditions, about courtship and marriage – some fun and romantic-like, others less so but interesting the same. Musings on how such things play out mong a people different from my own.

“Well, you know”, the dark-skinned gentleman whose head often wagged slightly sideways to signal agreement, offered, “it is like this. . .”

The pleasant sing-song introduction came from an Indian gent I was getting to know. I nodded, coaxing him on in his response to my question.

“You know, we in India and other places come to marriage differently than is done in the West. And, though modern times bring some change, customs to do with the marital union – we hold them quite dear.”

Interesting.

“Can I ask you, Vinay, did your grandparents decide how your own mother and father were to meet and marry? Your father’s parents, for instance, was it they who selected who the girl would be for him?”

And so the visit went.

Before my chat with Vinay, I had already been hearing that much of the world – most of the world – goes about romance and marriage in ways I could think are very weird. Like everyone else, I interpreted most all things through my own American-tinted cultural lens.

“They played a big role, yes”, Vinay replied. “And so did my mother’s family – with long visits over tea and step-by-step discussions – continuing forward right up to their marriage union.

“After all, marrying is not about falling in love. It is about giving thought to life as a whole, which usually does include marrying someone. “

I nodded, implying I understood. But I didn’t really, not quite.

“Young people in the West follow feelings, they go with their senses. A couple “fall in love”, and they marry. In our tradition we find it better to wed a person the family determines – in their best judgment – to be a decent match. The process moves forward. Eventually, the couple marry. The two then “grow into loving” one another. . . Yes, it usually comes. The pair grow to love each other over time. It is the way with our people.

I wondered. These worlds of romance and courtship and marriage. West and East. Could there be a middle ground?

I still wonder.

Tag: cultural

An Allegory

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