Christian – Jerry Lout ⚬ Writer ⚬ Speaker ⚬ Mobilizer

January 4, 2024January 3, 2024

The Qualifier

“God doesn’t call the qualified. He qualifies the called.”

It was a quote I had heard years before. Now, like small fragments of glowing embers in a fire pit being newly-roused by a stout breeze, the phrase was poised to ignite afresh. And just in time.

A lot of my life had been marked by self doubt. I fell short of one of those most desirable qualities (according to popular motivational speakers) for achieving success. Self-confidence. Oddly enough, the Christian tradition which had most shaped my spiritual life and worldview had been often given to bold and assertive, ‘you’ve got-this!’ declarations. “I can do all things…” “I am more than a conqueror…” And even, “Give me this mountain!” – a bold claim voiced by an 80-year-old, battle-scarred vet. Caleb. There was something beautiful about my growing- up years in such an upbeat climate of a believing community. Such confident, faith-fueled declarations (drawn straight out of sacred text) were even then serving to deepen in me a much-needed trust in God that could come into play way down the road. I was just not very aware of it.

— Hwy 169

Cruising along the busy Tulsa expressway one afternoon, I listened half-attentive to music pulsing through the car radio. I was at the moment right in the middle of head-talk.

“What an opportunity, international outreach right within the heart of Tulsa, Okla!” Countered by, “Right … but you? Really?” A voice inside my brain objected, then continued, “These are really bright scholars from across the world, many in advanced fields of the sciences. What do you know? What qualifies you?”

The music piece on the radio ended. In that moment, in the middle of my cerebral – emotional tug-of-war, the DJ’s voice broke in – “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” I later heard that the poignant statement was traced to Theodore Roosevelt. Regardless, this was my first-ever time to take it into my ears.

Astonished is too mild a term. In that moment I was, as our British friends would put it, gobsmacked.

December 21, 2023December 20, 2023

Conundrum

During unsettling times, from the terrifying to the mild, a prevailing hope in many is to catch sight of some proverbial North Star.

For centuries and for throngs of people in numberless settings a wildly diverse company of pilgrims called Jesus followers, have centered and then re-centered their trust in this one person. The carpenter’s son. The Messiah. The Good Shepherd. . . (It seems interesting that a noteworthy feature of any credible shepherd is that he leads).

So, What now, Lord? The days going forward found me itching for resolution. With my mentor (Jim) now off the scene what am I to make of this teasing draw toward international student ministry. Am I to press forward along the intriguing but ill-defined road? Or, shall my wife and I – as advised by one pastor – suspend missions work altogether since we are not now overseas, “Take up pastoring”?

Day by day I kept being drawn to the student community. Apart from whether or not a ‘call from above’ was in the works, a couple factors loomed large.

Do I have what it takes? (Obviously, I was skating toward the ‘Lord, help my unbelief!’ zone)

Undertaking Christian service among a diverse company of university scholars from around the world (“the brightest and best” goes the phrase) would mean something far different than what I had known.

The other factor playing on my mind was the question, to whom or what would I hitch my faith wagon to? Until this point, New York’s Elim Fellowship had been serving as our overseeing body.

In the end, several answers to the puzzlements had already started making their way my direction. The surprising turn of events would mean the end of my two-fold conundrum:

With what group might God have in mind for us to work alongside?
Any chance my limited knowledge and experience could pass muster?

July 6, 2023July 5, 2023

In Pursuit

The engineer-scholar approached research like an Alaskan sled driver tackling the Iditarod. Body and soul, his mind’s eye trained on a distant finish line. Tenacious all the way.

Once he defined his project, goals were set, objectives clarified, laboratory testing undertaken. The box-checking tasks were diverse and many, yet specific. The scholar took care not to diminish the value of each component. Pressing forward, Dr. Zhang* ‘leaned in’ day after day. His primary aim – to find a way of enhancing flow, of transporting liquids through pipelines by speedier, more efficient means.

As with Mr. Zhang, the Christ-follower’s journey moving forward calls for engaging his “want-to”. Simply ‘wanting to want to’ qualifies as the starting point for many. They begin employing efforts that any thoughtful person might bring to the table. As practices, i. e. holy habits, get embraced and take root along the way, the faith walk assumes more and more uplifting elements. A garment of praise displaces a spirit of heaviness. To his delight, the disciple discovers his own heart-driven quest – to know and to live and to love like God.

Hungering for God grows in the person who wants to want to.

The petroleum engineer embraces a vision that, if realized, may (who knows?) revolutionize a whole industry. But his aim is simply to see a meaningful difference come about. The point all along is in bringing positive change.

The Christian, viewing himself rightly as a follower and apprentice to the Lord Jesus, is poised to learn. Positive change is in the air. The starting point upon rising day by day is to posture himself to hear from Jesus. Doing so, he discovers Jesus afresh as the amazing savior and brilliant person he is – the one who, more than any other person, knows best just how to live the human life. The new apprentice realizes he has been forever changed. . . yet not enough. Like a child’s kite on a breezy day, the currents beckon to the beyond. Lifting higher and further into God’s spacious goodness.

Knowing (really getting to know) God’s Son brings with it transformative workings. Such knowing gives rise to a lifetime of thoughtful, heart-hungering pursuit.

Whether an engineer, a homemaker, a CNA, a student – simply any and every person whose aim is growth – a common thread is witnessed. Effective training and mentoring are hallmarks of change. And how much so, for the happy members of the family – those self-aware and Christ-aware “unceasing spiritual beings with an eternal destiny in God’s great universe”*

These are those who take up a lifestyle patterned closely after their teacher and redeemer friend – their ever-living mentor.

February 16, 2023February 17, 2023

Lifeline

Hungering?

Not hungering for knowledge of the brainy kind. Not hungering after an experience. Not even hungering after spiritual growth, whatever we might assume that is.

One can stoke an appetite of yearning for the finest of things. But if the very finest of things is missing or drops to even second place on our craving list, we come up short. Like the man who climbs his ladder of success only to discover the ladder has been leaning against the wrong wall.

The relentless hungering after a lesser thing, i.e. anything other than our Lord’s thing, carries the person to one of at least two places.

(A) The place of pride (I am one of those few select souls following hard after the ‘right path’. . . so take note!). Comparing his actions and behaviors to others, he views his spiritual maturity as deeper, more advanced. To this person good performing is everything.

(B) The place of despondence (Why did I ever buy into the notion that satisfaction and contentment were in reach, since all my efforts following this Christian trail have failed at both).

Any time we set out on our own to achieve a thing that can only be obtained by God and his means, we come up short. Disappointed. Frustrated. Disillusioned. Not fun places to be.

Let us picture this. A young lady grows up in a religious tradition where she routinely hears something like, “You must please God every day or you might not make it to heaven”. Or, “Here is a list of things in the Bible you had better be working on if you want to be a real worth-your-salt Christian.” Along the way the girl reads that Jesus calls disciples to follow him.

“I do want to be acceptable to God when I die”, she muses. “I want to be a good Christian. I will do my best to obey God and follow Jesus.”

In time this sincere soul simply grows weary in the trying. Trying to measure up. Day after day, trying and trying. Eventually throwing in the towel.

In the one kept afloat by human pride the bubble bursts. For the other, exhausted and spent in the tryings, all-out collapse awaits.

But then at the last moment, good news!

A lifeline floats our way straight off a New Testament page. Our weary soul rallies at the alluring words from the pen of a seasoned tentmaker,

But now let me show you a way of life that is best of all.*

December 22, 2022December 21, 2022

Living Springs

What now should be done?

For quite a good while my Christian journey centered on “shoulds”.

I had believed on Christ in my youth. I knew he had pardoned my sins through his sacrifice on a cross. When I turned to him, confessing my wrongs and trusting in him, I knew deep down that I was now his. The Bible speaks of being born anew from above. That was me.

I also knew in those earliest years of grace that my life in Jesus was not meant to plateau. It was meant to keep changing. I was not meant to live my life any longer on my own. His salvation was to go deeper than just getting me into heaven after this life.

But there was a problem. I lacked some critical knowledge about how that might work.

Over time I came to think and live as though “pleasing God” was the central purpose of my being his child. Some poor thinking took form, ironically, through things I often heard in church. My understanding of the gospel – God’s good news for all people – had gradually changed to something called “performance-living”.

I was no longer fully living my faith from the inside out. Rather, becoming Jesus-like seemed to call for taking on the next God-pleasing task assigned me. Such tasks, I was reminded, were what I “should do” if I were indeed a true Christian.

It’s worth noting that none of the Christian performances I undertook were bad. Not at all. They were good, sometimes noble, acts of service.

Like many Christians, as I later realized, many of my “wants” were in the right place. Discovering this brought a measure of comfort. After all, I hungered to please God and longed to be a truly “good Christian”. One thing that seemed lacking now was joy, the happy measure of joy I had tasted in those earlier God-companioned days.

And too, the sweet empowering love of earlier days began to wane. My good Savior’s springs of abundant living were being traded for an overburdening list of shoulds.

Only later would I recover the way of living Jesus had in mind for his disciples all along. More of a fruit-bearing kind of living. While not all things going forward would prove fun or easy, my way would become characterized more as a joyous, teamed-up partnership with him.

In the company of fellow disciples-in-training, I could move ahead under his accepting, empowering Spirit. The season was to become a very special period of training for me – especially in discovering how eager Jesus was about all this. His label for it, “life in abundance. . . in the easy yoke”.

November 29, 2017

Hidden Limp

What about my demons?

Joining up with Jesus in chasing out the devil, invoking his name, watching a man set free from fear, maybe even death. This is living!

An other-worldly thrill comes on the heels of such triumph. But then, as with many of life’s highs, a larger reality finds a way of settling in. Troubling questions may follow.

What of my own demons?

I had met Christ dramatically in my youth. His presence flooding over and through me, wave on wave, at my Yes to a simple invitation voiced by a real estate agent – “Would you like more of Jesus?”

God had kept me from the prison of an iron lung, had brought my useless, polio-smitten legs to life.

His relentless Spirit had, later on, chased after me and my rebellious teen heart. Such love at work had melted me to brokenness and restored me to my family.

And, wonder of wonders, he brought to me my most prized treasure, an inside/outside beauty from the Big Sky state of Montana. It had been Ann who waited with Jerry’s wife for us two men to complete our deliverance ministry assignment with a traumatized African youth.

And even a call to Christian service. Overseas, no less.

Yet.

My secret held on. And its attending darkness.

The night Lawrence violated me in my pre-puberty childhood had set the stage for compounded issues fueled by shame. Through wrongful, impure ways I had gotten exposed to sexuality. This set in motion desires I knew to be wrong.. Repeated cycles of guilt-inducing thoughts and behaviors naturally followed. Behaviors I knew to be wrong but which plagued me regardless how I tried to resist. And try I did.

So, while on the one hand my life was marked by blessings nearly too good to be true, I struggled deeply with periodic bouts of distress over crippling addictions.

Crippled. A missionary with a limp.