Yearning. Magi

By December 19, 2015 Uncategorized 40 Comments

Something is amiss. What? What is it?

The mutter passing through Melchior’s barely-parted lips was for no one’s ears. In one fashion or other – half-whispered, barely voiced, even silently within his thoughts – the nagging persisted.  Dozens of times it came since passing third watch. He had keenly followed his animal’s motions and moods from midnight till now.

Beams from a rising sun already stalked the caravan’s rear flank, sketching long, thin shadows on the sand out ahead. At least with coming of light he would gain advantage – would examine each hoof – above and beneath. What is it? What troubles my beast? Melchior’s gravelly voice took a stronger yet warm and pitying tone, directed to the animal herself. Flanked by her pair of lavishly furry ears the camel’s head moved just beyond arm’s reach. But for this distance, Melchior’s hand would have rested here, consoling.

I feel beneath me no limping gait. You seem well enough, my desert lady. Yet. . .

He stroked the lining of the cloak at his shoulders (fashioned itself of camel hair). Melchior’s surprise at a tear forming in his eye provoked clearing of his throat. He glanced about, gruffly swiped at the tear. The priestly magus was drawn again to reflection. Addawser – “the large one” – had long been his beast and was never, to him, a means of mere utility.

Ah no, no mere camel, Addawser. Strong-willed at times? Ha! At times? Haha! The animal answered Melchior’s caress to her shoulder with a throaty rumble. The master grew reflective.

They had – each in the company of the other – weathered thirty-eight summers. Melchior raised his vision above the horizon. He was certain of a star-blanketed sky as if it were still full night and they still visible. He voiced petition to the great deity of skies, hoping an attentive ear might heed. May Constellation’s God grant me and Addawser more good summers together. May it be . . .

The caravan drew to a halt. The sun behind them edged upward.

Alright, Good Lady Addawser. We rest now. At her master’s voice, the camel lowered. He dismounted. A studied survey of her hooves followed. Alright, grand lady, let’s solve this nagging riddle.

The priest’s thumb-stroke halted. The pebble – lodged in the animals left hind hoof – was small enough to have been easily missed.  Not harmful, to be sure, and only barely felt by the camel herself, it could be certain. Still, Melchior knew his Addawser. Knew her pleasure that the irritant – slight though it was – had got fished out by the aid of his pesh-kabz.  I should have thought, my Addawser. Yes, I might have guessed. Foolish master, foolish, foolish master. He chuckled. From the camel’s interior rose another throaty rumble. At this, two servants shared knowing glances.

To speak to one’s camel is no rare thing – most common, in fact. Loud rebukes, angry scoldings. But words of friendship. . . of warmth? Ah, hardly. Sharing, as they seem, a comradery? Rare as oases in the Persian desert.

The nomad priest-scholar fingered his pesh-kabz a moment more – its knife-point keen enough for the stone’s removal, enough to penetrate battle armor if need be. He looked at the pebble – backward and forward he rolling the gritty stone between forefinger and thumb. Melchior sighed. He rendered a wholly new question – though whispered as he had done before.

What of my own pebble?

The more he mused, the more fitting seemed the comparison. Indeed, so fitting the matter of Addawser’s pebble rekindled the old disquiet within.

He spread his mat at the base of a crag where he hoped for daytime slumber. I yet have the feeling. Well, to be sure the feeling itself is different. Yet, much like the matter with Addawser before her riddle was settled.

My soul is troubled by something – as with a pebble gone unfound in my sandal. There is this in my soul. The feeling.  So primary to his thinking this matter, Melchior mused further.

My life goes forward by day, by night, but to where? I gain distance, yet to what purpose? Within, I feel yearning. Toward something elusive. As a phantom. So, turning inward to himself, for what – my soul – do I yearn?

The esteemed Melchior drew a sigh. Emotion threatened to prevail, akin  to that which for some prompts sobbings deep and long. With effort he willed himself quiet. Yet the question remained, What troubles me? Ah! The very question I labored with for my camel through fourth watch. . . What troubles me? God of all constellations. Shall I ever know? Where is my place of rest? He rolled to his side. Drained – body and mind – Melchior slept.

The depth of sleep into which he sank sweetened Melchior’s waking moments hours later. Such restfulness – the kind he’d nearly forgotten through this arduous journey – revived in him an earlier eagerness. The focus, the purpose of their westward trek.

Dark revisited the land, as did the prominent star. Its presence, by now assumed, nearly as much as sought after – like a valued, unparting friend.

The caravan snaked further along a patchwork of desert and sagebrush.

The priest shifted in his saddle. With it came, it seemed, a shift in mood. Of strong stirring. We are near. I feel it. Seldom was the priest known to whistle. Now – for a short time at least – a lively melody from the Persia’s hinterland escaped his lips.

From beginning of fourth watch the caravan undertook a gradual climb. Addawser served this leg of the trek as lead camel.  Thus it was her nose that first passed into the great escarpment overlooking the town. The star sat immobile. It’s light stretched downward. The rays enveloped a domestic dwelling and its close-by animal shelter.  Melchior’s vision – clouded now by ever-moistening eyes – held steady to the sight. He could not have imagined a common home scene stirring such emotion. Drawing his animal to a halt, he rested in the saddle – his spirit hushed. Aware that a long yearning was nearing a threshold passing at this place – not far from the Great Sea. This place, in this dwelling.

In that moment came another knowing – more deeply – of a curious kind. Knowledge that his yearning was not to fully end, not finish here. Not fully. Rather the yearning would be engaged. As a satisfying kind of yearning. In communion, somehow with another. And still others in a lesser measure. Here. Soon.  Such mystery in this entire venture. But compelling. Mighty in its pull.

Melchior breathed in – his mind going to the cargo sack at Addawser’s side. The frankincense for a king-child. His eyes wrinkled to a smile. He felt himself within giddy as any child.

Leaning forward he whispered, Addawser, it is my time. The pebble shall dislodge from the sandal of my soul. The nagging shall soon quiet. It quiets even now, my desert lady. Silence hushed all space from them to the light-bathed dwelling. Then was broken. Addawser sounded her throaty rumble. Melchior – in that moment – laughed more heartily, more freely than he had in many summers.

©2015 Jerry Lout



Join the discussion 40 Comments

  • Herman says:

    Obviously if you sell pet products, you will notice that the traffic characters
    do not exceed the specified limit. This may not be possible that you get
    a hundred hits or more a day or a new field for many years.
    Are you in an image placed next to a web site, LinkedIn Answers allows users to understand.
    These techniques violate most search engine changes and advancements and can change at any professional seo.

  • So if you want to get more entertainment value from your Nintendo gaming console, all you need to
    do is to install the R4 Gold Upgrade. For information on The Frist Center for the
    Visual Arts to include hours, prices, location, and
    tickets, CLICK HERE. Make sure that whatever you’re sending, it doesn’t look like marketing material.

  • Son says:

    You are my breathing in, I have few blogs and sometimes run out
    from brand :).

  • Jannie says:

    I love reading and I believe this website ggot some genuinely utilitarian stuff on it!

  • I got this website from my friend who told me concerning this web page and now
    this time I am visiting this site and reading very
    informative posts at this time.

  • you are actually a good webmaster. The web site loading pace is incredible.
    It sort of feels that you’re doing any distinctive trick.

    In addition, The contents are masterwork. you have
    done a excellent activity in this topic!

  • What i do not realize is in reality how you’re not
    really much more neatly-liked than you may be now.
    You’re very intelligent. You understand therefore significantly relating to this subject, produced me for my part consider it from numerous various angles.

    Its like women and men aren’t interested unless it’s something
    to do with Woman gaga! Your personal stuffs nice. Always handle it up!

  • I always was concerned in this subject and stock still am,
    thanks for putting up.

  • Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your blog and
    wished to say that I’ve truly enjoyed browsing your blog posts.
    After all I’ll be subscribing for your feed and I’m hoping you
    write once more very soon!

  • Serum Jolie says:

    Some really quality posts on this website, saved to

  • Now boasting 21 employees, Murphy claimed, “we created jobs where there were no jobs,” and
    made the point that, “no government can create a job. Winter’s grip still has a hold on the state, and the frigid temperatures are keeping all but the most intrepid photographers inside. Once you have all the corner ‘legs’ attached, ask a helper to assist you in positioning your A frame skeleton onto your foundation.

  • Hello there, just became alert to your blog through Google, and found that it’s truly informative.
    I am gonna watch out for brussels. I’ll be grateful if you continue this in future.
    Lots of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  • Why people still make use of to read news papers when in this technological globe all is accessible on net?

  • 19, 1937: Ray Collins of Frank Zappa’s Mothers of Invention born. But aside from
    a scene where he hijacks a news station’s traffic helicopter
    during a broadcast, his constant babbling
    isn’t all that amusing. The nostalgic soap’s image has stay true to its equity and has remained the antithesis of the overly complicated.

  • teen porn says:

    Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that
    I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts.
    In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!

  • Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your
    weblog? My blog site is in the exact same niche as yours and my users would really benefit from some of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this ok with you. Thank you!

  • I do consider all the ideas you’ve presented in your post.
    They’re very convincing and can certainly work. Still, the posts are very short for newbies.

    May you please prolong them a bit from subsequent time?
    Thanks for the post.

  • Genuinely when someone doesn’t be aware of after that its
    up to other viewers that they will assist, so here it
    takes place.

  • says:

    Awesome! Its in fact amazing article, I have got much
    clear idea concerning from this paragraph.

  • Hi, after reading this awesome paragraph i am also glad to share my experience here with mates.

  • Thanks for finally writing about >Yearning. Magi | Jerry Lout ⚬ Writer ⚬ Speaker ⚬ <Liked it!

  • I quite like reading through a post that can make
    men and women think. Also, many thanks for allowing for me to comment!

  • I do not even understand how I finished up here, however I thought this put up was
    once great. I don’t know who you are however definitely you’re going to a well-known blogger should you are not
    already. Cheers!

  • sacaleches says:

    You should take part in a contest for one of the finest
    blogs on the web. I most certainly will highly recommend this blog!

  • Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude! Many thanks, However I am having difficulties
    with your RSS. I don’t know why I am unable to join it.
    Is there anyone else having identical RSS problems?

    Anybody who knows the solution will you kindly respond?

  • Cary says:

    I’d like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this site.
    I am hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts by you in the future as well.
    In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my very own site now ;

  • Deanna says:

    I pay a visit every day some websites and sites to read articles, but this webpage provides feature based writing.

  • There’s definately a great deal to know about this subject.
    I love all the points you’ve made.

  • This excellent website really has all of the information I
    needed concerning this subject and didn’t know
    who to ask.

  • digital dental photography course []

  • Felica says:

    Magnificent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous
    to and you are just extremely excellent. I really like what you have got here, certainly like what you’re saying and the best way
    by which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to
    stay it smart. I cant wait to learn much more from you. That is really
    a great site.

  • Beatriz says:

    Hello, I want to subscribe for this web site to obtain newest updates, therefore where
    can i do it please help out.

  • Thanks for finally talking about >Yearning. Magi | Jerry Lout ⚬ Writer ⚬ Speaker ⚬ <Liked it!

  • My brother recommended I may like this blog.
    He was entirely right. This post truly made my day.
    You cann’t consider just how so much time I had
    spent for this information! Thank you!

  • With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright
    violation? My site has a lot of exclusive content I’ve either
    created myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping it up all over the
    web without my authorization. Do you know any methods to help prevent content from being stolen? I’d definitely appreciate it.

  • Aw, this was a really good post. Finding the time and
    actual effort to generate a great article… but
    what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and don’t manage to get nearly
    anything done.

  • I was suggested this website through my cousin.
    I am now not sure whether or not this put up is
    written via him as no one else know such distinct approximately my difficulty.
    You are wonderful! Thank you!

  • Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long as
    I provide credit and sources back to your website? My blog site is in the very same niche as yours and my visitors would certainly benefit from some of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this ok with you. Thanks!

  • Dobry Ebook says:

    Aw, this was a very good post. Spending some time and actual
    effort to make a superb article… but what can I say… I put things
    off a whole lot and never manage to get anything done.

  • Awesome issues here. I’m very glad to look your post.
    Thank you a lot and I’m having a look ahead to contact you.
    Will you kindly drop me a mail?

Leave a Reply