Conundrum

During unsettling times, from the terrifying to the mild, a prevailing hope in many is to catch sight of some proverbial North Star.

For centuries and for throngs of people in numberless settings a wildly diverse company of pilgrims called Jesus followers, have centered and then re-centered their trust in this one person. The carpenter’s son. The Messiah. The Good Shepherd. . . (It seems interesting that a noteworthy feature of any credible shepherd is that he leads).

So, What now, Lord? The days going forward found me itching for resolution. With my mentor (Jim) now off the scene what am I to make of this teasing draw toward international student ministry. Am I to press forward along the intriguing but ill-defined road? Or, shall my wife and I – as advised by one pastor – suspend missions work altogether since we are not now overseas, “Take up pastoring”?

Day by day I kept being drawn to the student community. Apart from whether or not a ‘call from above’ was in the works, a couple factors loomed large.

Do I have what it takes? (Obviously, I was skating toward the ‘Lord, help my unbelief!’ zone)

Undertaking Christian service among a diverse company of university scholars from around the world (“the brightest and best” goes the phrase) would mean something far different than what I had known.

The other factor playing on my mind was the question, to whom or what would I hitch my faith wagon to? Until this point, New York’s Elim Fellowship had been serving as our overseeing body.

In the end, several answers to the puzzlements had already started making their way my direction. The surprising turn of events would mean the end of my two-fold conundrum:

  • With what group might God have in mind for us to work alongside?
  • Any chance my limited knowledge and experience could pass muster?

©2023 Jerry Lout

Green Pastures

Well, what do you know!

The expression of mild astonishment is common. What may not be so common is the understanding of ‘know’.

In Bible language to know speaks routinely of intimate interpersonal nearness. Adam knew his wife and she conceived and bore a son.

We know Jesus, not in his material form but by the Spirit who dwells within us. This level of knowing carries more depth and richness than the ‘tightest’ of human relations.

Rather than overthinking the language of “I never knew you”, what if we caught the reality that Jesus is actually calling us straight from his heart to the exact opposite.

As beloved sheep of his pasture, we turn our gaze away from ourselves and simply choose moving nearer the heart of our good Shepherd. His disciples (his sheep) grow to recognize, then relish, his words,

“My sheep hear my voice. I know them. They follow me”.*

The shepherd and sheep image offers up a good picture of what “abiding in Christ” is to look like.

Good Shepherd-Jesus initiates the relationship, “I have come to seek and to rescue wandering sheep. They are lost”. He lifts us from whatever pit we’ve plummeted into in our strayings. Having come to our rescue, he begins tenderly strengthening the bond between himself and us. This journey into routine closeness moves forward to the measure we respond to his Spirit’s promptings, “They hear my voice. They follow me”.

Every ‘yes’ to the good shepherd’s promptings (in prayer, in sitting with scripture, in worship) fosters more knowing. Intimacy, by its nature requires both parties to engage. Our Lord calls, we lean in to listen. He counsels, we respond as best we know to. We worship, he draws nearer yet.

By such means we find ourselves being changed from within. Our connection with God has shifted. The superficial level of knowing him recedes as he ushers us step by obedient step toward and into to his ‘green pastures’.  Our knowledge of Jesus grows at the interior level and we can’t help but savor the fragrance of his nearness. We are certain we will never be content with anything less than his close, shepherding companionship.

©2023 Jerry Lout

Shepherd Find

George’s old sedan churned dust as it entered the meadow. Dad’s hay-baling equipment broke down occasionally and he called on the hired fix-it man to lend aid. These and many other details converged in the haying enterprise – centering on one aim. Feeding our small herd of cattle through the winter months.

To my knowledge, nothing of the sheep family ever grazed on our property. Perhaps the nearest to that happening was my purchase of a goat years later. I fattened it up on the old property in advance of my son and his bride’s wedding.  Their rehearsal dinner featured nyama choma (Swahili for ‘roasted meat’).

The terms sheep and shepherd found their way into our thoughts, however. And often. Even into our prayers. My family’s church culture introduced intriguing words and images like this. Stories to do with sheep and their shepherds drew our family to fondly consider attributes of God. We learned of his nature and of his disposition to us his children. In view of these things, our dad reflected on the blessings that came his way, his good fortune.

A principled man, Clyde Baxter labored for the well-being of his family. The dream of securing employment drove him to ride the freight cars westward. Clyde married Thelma only after establishing himself as a steady wage earner with a stable future. Life carried uncertainties as in every generation. He understood this and stayed focused.

Linking his work ethic to his modest ten grades of schooling, Clyde excelled in the plumbing craft. In the late 50’s he launched a business in Okmulgee. City Plumbing.

His love for rural life stirred. What if? So dad moved his shop to our eighty acre place a mile from town.

Get up, boys. Time for Sunday School and Church. Throughout the busy years Dad did the best he knew to do in affording us a moral and spiritual footing.

Doing so he sensed that his abilities to labor, to plan and to provide rose out of a greater influence. He knew he was not a self-made man. He entered into and drew from a source far greater than his human ingenuity could supply.

The grown-up orphan was humbled. He knew he was fathered. And shepherded.

Dad was reserved. His prayers were private. In my growing-up years it was sounds of my mother’s intercessions that drifted from their room. Mother petitioned the shepherd. When we gathered at mealtime, it was always mother praying our food.

My child imagination resonated with images of a good shepherd. I saw Jesus as shepherd. But more. Jesus was good shepherd – giving his life for the sheep.  From my earliest years exploits of a giant-slaying, lion-crippling shepherd boy grabbed me. Then each October Sister Opaline selected Christmas Play characters. I thrilled at arriving for practice one or two seasons cast as a shepherd. A long crook staff in hand I saw myself as a kind but commanding presence. Protector of the defenseless.

Shepherds watching their sheep by night. Wow.

Through vivid Bible scenes I saw Jesus walking away from a gathering of safely-kept lambs and ewes. In the dark it was me the good shepherd went looking for.  I was the strayed sheep. I saw myself lying helpless in a distant ravine, wolves prowling nearby.

One Sunday morning in a Bible story time I was invited to welcome the good shepherd into my life. He laid down his life for me, a helpless sheep. Guided into a simple prayer by my teacher I eagerly opened my heart’s door.

Jesus came. His Spirit entered me in his mysterious way. Through simple faith. God was my shepherd. The good shepherd.

Today I know him in a wider range of wonderful titles – Savior. Friend. Teacher. Brother. Comforter. King. Father. Naming a few.

As a limping, sometimes straying sheep, I cherish him still as I first came to know him.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want          Psalm 23

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©2015 Jerry Lout