“Thirty-eight”, the young man replied.
“Really, thirty-eight?”
“Yes”. My new friend’s voice was matter-of-fact. “Thirty-eight cows”.
How does an Oklahoma boy take in – not to mention, digest – rural Africa’s matrimony language?
“But, suppose the young man can’t come up with that many? What happens?”
“Oh, sometimes the girl’s father negotiates. . . you know, back and forth.”
“And, if they still can’t agree on a number that works?”
“Well, the young man goes away, with hopes the mzee will somehow lower the dowery. The girl’s father also hopes. . . that a more well-off suitor comes by.”
***
Among the many settings international workers encounter in their new culture is the world of matrimony.
What’s the delay?
I had grown a little impatient over the past half hour. It was wedding day. I had gotten volunteered to drive the bride and attendant from her family home – a simple dwelling well off the beaten path – to the church. A decked-out choral group waited there, watching for our arrival. The groom likewise waited. And waited.
“Brother Jerry, it seems the old man wants more cows or more money. . . or something. . . an added dowry, a sum not discussed earlier, to close the arrangement.”
As the fussing went on – a bridegroom rep laboring to cajole, allure, persuade the old man – I noticed a diesel-belching 2-ton lorry enter property. Twenty or so adults, mostly women in colorful dress. . . several men formally garmented. . . jostled about within, trying to stay upright as the truck half-circled to a stop. Because of the last-minute dowry challenge the festive mood had subsided. All appeared resigned to wait things out. Apparently the tactical game playing out wasn’t so new to the tribe. They got the picture. . . Give the old man time. He likely won’t risk losing face before the clan leaders by sticking in his heels much longer. Not for adding a mere one or two more skinny cows.
My curiosity grew. How will this turn out?
©2018 Jerry Lout