February 2024 – Jerry Lout ⚬ Writer ⚬ Speaker ⚬ Mobilizer

February 29, 2024February 28, 2024

A Calming Effect

Airport kiosks of the sparser variety often feature elevated circular tables so travelers can munch their edibles while standing. My new South Asia friend had moved to such a table, his modest lunch in hand. Adjusting his backpack, he had a glance around. Suddenly, he paused – shifting his gaze to the beverage in his hand.

No straw.

Taking in the customers around him, he realized all their drinks did include sipping straws, each one poised as if standing at attention within the respective drinks. The travel-worn student’s heart sank.

The kiosk attendant did not give me a straw, Dheeraj moaned inwardly. Surely it is because they do not like my being here. In this place. . . this country.

Reining in his gathering gloom, Dheeraj returned his focus to the checkout counter, noting the small stack of napkins from which he had earlier retrieved his own. He then noticed a newly served customer fetching one for himself. Turning, the gentleman pressed a finger to a metal device near at hand. From this device, a bright, fresh sipping straw magically appeared!

Relief washed over Dheeraj.

Ann and I flashbacked to our own skewed perceptions when arriving in Kenya as youngsters – our first foreign country of residence. Excitement and angst, wonder and trepidation ran the gamut, having a roller coaster field day. (Having grown up in an era of “Me Tarzan–You Jane” movies, I was half-surprised that our Jumbo Jet set down on paved tarmac, rather than a dirt landing strip!

In time our TU ministry team offered cultural orientation sessions for new arrivals coming in from abroad. We relished witnessing the ‘lights come on’, seeing anxieties dissipate even as we handed out copies of a perfectly-labeled booklet, How To Survive In The United States.

In time, opportunities arose where we could pass along treasured phrases from an ancient era, that proved as relevant today as at any time ever,

“Be anxious for nothing*. . . “Do not fear, I am with you**”

February 22, 2024February 21, 2024

Icebreaker

“So, how are you managing now that jet lag has run its course?

“In your early moments of being in the U.S., what was it like? Any surprises? Challenges?”

Serving up such questions, I discovered, helped ease the landing for new student arrivals, especially those who had never traveled outside their homeland.

Thoughtful queries delicately placed became bridge-building tools in nurturing further relationship. They also yielded an intriguing range of responses. One visit with a young scholar from the Indian subcontinent retains its near-the-top spot of my unforgettable list.

“Dheeraj*, how was your arrival to the U.S? Anything stand out?” His response was instant, and his shy laughter signaled I was in for a story. Offering an assuring smile, I gestured he had the floor.

“Well, the flight had been long. I was getting hungry when we landed at LAX, Los Angeles.

“After passing through Customs and Immigration, I found a sandwich shop along the corridor. There was plenty of time ahead of my connecting flight leaving for Tulsa.”

Dheeraj paused and offered a light chuckle before continuing. By now I was hooked on the unfolding narrative. Clearly something was up!

“Of course, I had never visited an American eating place. At the counter, I made my purchase – a sandwich, along with a soft drink. I was so mindful that I was a first-time visitor, a stranger to this place. Soon I became very worried that my presence here was not received well. I feared that as an outsider I was not at all ‘welcome’”.

Dheeraj gave another self-conscious and, to my relief, good-natured chuckle. Which led moments later to a stream of laughter erupting from us both.

February 15, 2024February 14, 2024

The Liason

Our young friend Constant was asked by school administration to act as liaison for some new enrollees soon to venture stateside from his (and their) distant island nation. Knowing they were readying themselves – as he had earlier done – to traverse the fourteen time zones into Tulsa, Constant took the role with keen empathy. A flurry of email exchanges followed. At last D-Day for the half-dozen students’ arrival came, all of them aboard the same flight.

By this time in Constant’s Tulsa sojourn, he had grown aware of my Sunday worship rhythm. Later, in a matter-of-fact style, he related to me the airport scene as he welcomed the young arrivals from their native, predominantly Buddhist, homeland.

Scene: Arrival gate. Friday.

Constant: “Welcome to America!”, followed by incidental chitchat.

“Sunday morning you will go with me to Church. . .

“And, you will meet my friend, Jerry, there.”

Having engaged with Constant already and recognizing him as their ‘veteran’ international point person, the travel-weary but eager students nodded their pleasure. Formalities complete, the mini parade of scholars gathered up their carry-ons and headed for Baggage Claim.

Nice, I thought, maybe not the protocol others would have employed in receiving first-time arrivals to the country. Well done, Constant.

Sunday dawned.

Not having yet known of their airport dialogue, I entered our church sanctuary and got a happy surprise. My friend Constant flashed his easy smile, and then guided me to a particular row of seats. Here sat the six newly landed scholars – guys and ladies, warm and courteous – taking up the better part of the church pew row.

When service ended my wife and I mingled with the group. Then waved farewell as Constant whisked them off to further adventurous tastes of American culture.

We would meet again.

February 8, 2024February 7, 2024

Reptile Routine

Extending circles of friendships for newly arrived foreign students proves priceless, over time. Stewarded well, the practice can translate into treasured relationships. It’s been noted that a Houston professor researching the matter arrived at a remarkable finding.

When a local resident extends kindness to an international student in a meaningful way within the first 72 hours of the newcomer’s arrival, a lifelong friendship can well have been launched.

My wife and I resonate with stats like these, having drunk deep from the wells of hospitality at the hands of local residents upon our maiden arrival to Africa.

In mere moments of our friends Carl and Annette swinging open their door in welcome to my friend Constant, the space in their cozy residence was ringing with hospitable cheer. Is it any wonder, given the needs and the makeup of we human creatures, how soon authentic friendships among us can bud, then flourish?

Lingering a moment at the apartment door, I took in the surroundings and wondered how many stories lay past the many other student housing doors. My good-humored, keen-minded, bespectacled friend from the Far East greeted me in what had by now become a predictable norm. A cheery grin seemed to mark his countenance at every turn.

Waiting outside his door, I had already begun scanning my brain for a specific kind of word or phrase for this fun-loving Chemistry major.

In the experiment of figuring out ways to help students get a better handle on the English language, I had recognized a robust interest among some scholars over our common American slangs or idioms. My student friend was, I discovered, not merely interested in the world of slang. Constant grew such an appetite for new expressions he inaugurated a kind of game. We were not to part company following any of our sessions without my having left behind a fresh new idiom to take its place inside his ever-expanding slang storehouse.

This Tuesday afternoon, having wrapped up our regular conversational time in the New Testament, Constant hit me with the reminder, “So Jerry, what slang do you have for me today?”

“How about this, Constant. . .”

I coached him then on a common back-and-forth dialogue featuring reptiles as the theme. From that day onward, no conversational session was complete without a shared parting refrain,

“See you later, Alligator. . .”

“After while, Crocodile!”

February 1, 2024January 31, 2024

Constant Gains

We know of people who opt to change their proper name. Visiting the United Kingdom, I am sometimes tempted to tweak my surname. Hardly any of our British friends would think it a compliment being called a lout.

A few days after tackling my new duties on campus, I met a delightful student from East Asia.

“Hi, my name is ‘Constant’”, he smiled.

“Happy to meet you, Constant. I’m Jerry”. The introduction marked the start of a rich friendship. A couple days passed. My phone rang.

“Hi Jerry, it’s Constant. Do you have a minute?”

In time I learned the rationale behind my new acquaintance’s name change. Realizing his given name might prove tough for some Oklahomans to pronounce and wishing to take on a name reflecting his ambitions as a student, he simply landed on Constant. Staying focused and constant – not getting distracted or sidelined from studies. Things he knew were called for in his engineering pursuits. Makes sense! I thought.

“Sure”, I responded to his request over the phone, “what’s up, Constant?”

After a short visit, which included suggesting a few tips to ease his concerns over navigating English with a certain professor, I offered that Constant and I begin weekly meetups for conversational practice. He liked the idea.

I suggested two o’clock the following day.

“Yes, that time is great. At my apartment!”

Carrying forward with the Tuesday sessions over the next three years, our friendship grew. It was gratifying, making my way week-by-week to Constant’s apartment, seeing his second-language skills excel month after month. The English reading exercises we tackled featured an uncommon (for him) curriculum resource. Opening the New Testament week by week, we took in a narrative, then another – Tuesday after Tuesday – from the life of Jesus.